Hard Task ahead? I'd rather deep clean the house thanks...
Thoughtful Thursday Series
You’ve got a big thing to do today. Maybe you’ve been avoiding it for days. Or maybe there’s no deadline, but you know it still needs doing.
You sit down at your desk and get ready to start. Then, suddenly, something else appears. The washing machine needs emptying. There’s dirt on the skirting board. You should really book that trip you’ve been meaning to do for ages. Oh, and there’s that really important email or text you’ve been meaning to reply to.
Before you know it, you’re doing anything except the thing you’re actually meant to do.
That is such a common experience for so many of us. And honestly, it’s funny how the skirting boards never looked so attractive and neglected until you had a harder task waiting in front of you.
The sideways pull
What I notice is that there’s often a part of us that gets pulled away from the hard thing.
It feels almost like your under a spell and something is calling you into a more attractive task. Cleaning, washing up, gardening, tidying, replying to emails. None of those things were necessarily what you wanted to do, but somehow they feel less painful than the thing you’re meant to do.
I think many of us know this feeling well.
When awareness kicks in
At first, you may not even notice what is happening. You just get through the day, busy and feeling productive, and then realise you never got to the thing you meant to do.
Then, over time, something shifts. You become more aware of the pattern. You can almost watch yourself in the third person, avoiding the task, knowing you should go back to your desk, but somehow unable to.
This can feel really rough,
It’s not just people who are “easily distracted” who do this. Everybody gets pulled off course to some degree. But for many, it can feel very physical and visceral. Like the task has become too big, too sticky, too hard to enter.
Sometimes I’m going in one direction, it can take a lot to get myself pointed back where I need to go.
Make the task smaller
One thing that can help is asking: is the task too big?
Have I inadvertently written down a huge project, as my to do, like “write report,” instead of breaking it into smaller more actionable steps like:
Open the document.
Create the title.
Identify the draft structure.
Write the first sentence.
Sometimes the problem is not laziness. Sometimes the task is just too vague, too large, or too emotionally loaded.
So it can help to make it smaller. Much smaller than you think it needs to be.
You can also ask:
Is this new exciting side quest, emotional avoidance?
Am I trying to escape discomfort?
Could I give myself just five minutes on the task?
Could I do one Pomodoro and see what happens?
Often, the goal does not need to be “finish the task.” The goal can simply be “start the task.”
Decide the night before
One of the most helpful things I’ve found is deciding what I’ll do the next morning before I finish the day.
If I’ve already chosen the first task, I don’t have to waste energy on decision paralysis. That can save so much headspace. Otherwise, you can lose the first hour just deciding what to do.
And often, once you’ve already been working on something, your brain is still in that gear. It’s easier to pick it up again.
The challenge, of course, is that in the evenings our brain is tired brain… and that sofa has never looked so inviting.
So the answer is not perfection. It’s a system.
A small, realistic system
Maybe your system looks like this:
Write down your first task the night before.
Keep it very small.
Give yourself a five-minute start.
Use a timer.
Take a short walk if you need to reset.
Come back and begin again.
You do not need to force yourself into a perfect working mood. You just need a way back in.
And sometimes that way back in is not dramatic. It is just a small, gentle return.
The real win
For me, this is about more than productivity. It’s about understanding how our brains resist hard things, and how we can meet ourselves with a bit more kindness when that happens.
If you find yourself side questing, it may help to pause and ask what is really going on. Is the task too big? Too vague? Too emotionally loaded? Do you need a smaller step, a shorter timer, or a clearer plan?
Because once you can name the problem, it becomes easier to work with it.
So many of us are not failing. We are just trying to start.
Your turn
What do you find yourselves doing when you are supposed to be working?
Do you have any tips or hacks that help you come back to the thing you are supposed to be doing?
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Thoughtful Thursday is our space for slower, more reflective consideration of the emotional side of showing up. Subscribe to stay updated on future posts in this series.